‘So when’ – S/he asks

“Well, God only knows..Hopefully soon..Although I have my doubts whether it’s a good idea”

“Why? You don’t want me?”

“Ofcourse I want you. I am just not sure whether this is a good place to bring you..Its hard to find good in here”

“But there are happy people. Don’t you want me to experience the wonders of the earth..

Cruising down the highway with wind on my hair..Lying on the cool grass in the night and gaze at the Stars..experience the first kiss..Experience love..Acheive something and be proud of myself..have a baby and look at the baby for the first time..Help people and be fulfilled when I see their happy faces..Travel all over the world and soak up in the different culture..Travel to Space even.. There are so many wonderful things, don’t you want me to experience all these things?”

“Well, I do want you to experience all those things and be proud of you..But honey, the world is rotting day by day..I don’t know whether I can instill all the good nature in you..

Just being good hearted in this world is not enough anymore.. You have to be strong to take care of yourself and your family.. You have to be assertive, alert all the time..Even if you are all that, it doesn’t mean you will have a good life..Even when you are a kid, I have to teach you all this stuff, so that you wont end up as a loser, as this world calls some people.. I would have to rob your childhood and teach you how to live in this world.. Maybe you will have a few good, carefree years..and then there wont be anytime to stand and gaze at the butterfly..You gotta run and run..I’ll be worried all the time about your safety..Everything, the Traffic, the child molesters, the serial killers, drugs, bullies how I am going to save you from all those things..My heart would bleed if something bad happen to you..And there are going to be heartbreaks definetly..nobody is exception..Its not a world of peace and tranquility..Honey, whats your hurry? Why are you so impatient to come to this damned world?”

“But, that’s life right? To experience all those things..to see the ups and downs..Why are you already behaving like a Parent? A Parent who controls the kid all the time, so that the Kid wont get into any bad experiences..I am not even born yet..I can see you are protective..But everybody should live their life right?”

“I don’t know..I don’t know..What if I screw you up unknowingly? What if, if you turn out to be one of those bad guys? What if, if you turn out to be bully? If you come to me, I know you are going to be the apple of my eye..What if it makes you a self important bully? I am a child myself..I am scared half of the time seeing the way the world is turning into.. If you come to me, I am supposed to tell you that everything is going to be alright..But in truth, I don’t know whether everything will be alright..I have to lie to you..And you will grow up and you have to face the cruelty all over again..Whats the point honey? You can be at peace wherever you are..True, I would dearly miss you, but sometimes I think its so selfish of me to bring you here, when I know its not all good for you..You are like a child already, impatient to experience everything..”

“But You cant stop me being born right? If it has to happen, it will happen..Even if you have the power to stop me, I might be born in some other family..So why not you?”

“oh honey, deary.. How I wish I could change the world so everything will be in moderate dosage..The happiness, excitement and especially sadness.. How I wish there wont be any children frozen with terror of the cruelties they see..How I wish there wont be any mothers touching their wombs, thinking about their Son in War somewhere..oh, How I wish.. What if, if you are girl? Oh girly, gilry, things would get even more tougher..Oh deary..How could I make you understand..”

“Well, You are just being paranoid..You will see, there wont be anything we both could not tolerate..You will see..”

“I couln’t stop but smile dear..Its the same dialogue I delivered to my Parents..oh, my innocent beauty.. I give up..Lets see how its gonna be..”